Let me leave behind all the clouds in my mind

• 2012-05-19

  What if I get an MBA? What then?

  **Brain exploding**

• 2012-05-18

  Pick your balls

  Jackie: we know

  
  

  Rio: what do you know?

  
  

  Jackie: we all know life is scary

  but sometimes you have to take it by the balls and show it who’s boss

  
  

  Rio: but THERE ARE SO MANY BALLS

  
  

  Jackie: pick your ball shots then

• →

  LIFE IS SCARY.

  But also exciting.

• →

  Get thee to a nunnery

  Well… I’ve been in one. For the last semester.

  
  It’s strange, it’s the first semester I’ve kept my hands to myself for the whole thing. The other strange part is that I’m also the happiest I’ve been at the end of a semester. So. Who knows. Maybe I was supposed to be a nun.

• 2012-05-17

  Stream of Consciousness

  Ugh

  Why isn’t Max here?

  Jeez this recording is out of tune

  Why do I suck at cello?

  This lollipop is gone and I’m still eating the stick

  The way I’m sitting bulges my stomach fat out more than usual

  Ugh

  I should go running. But probably wont. Maybe in Virginia.

  Flarp

  That kinda sounds African

  At least I’m excited about my parent’s wedding

  I don’t want to clean my room

  I wonder if Craig and Connor are happy?

  Why am I not a happy person?

  I wish I were more stylish

  I should shut the blinds, people will see that I’m still sitting here on my computer

  Shit I need to send my resume off

  Gosh, I’m a great person

  I wonder if I’m getting tendinitis

  Those towels aren’t even…

• →

  Wall+Head

• →

  BANG

• →

  Life is pretty weird, man, but it’s pretty good, too.

• →

  The dumb one

  I was the dumb one. I know it was/is a “fish climbing a tree” situation, but in school nothing has changed from elementary school Rio to college Rio. I still bite my tongue because I fear the embarrassment of everyone finding out I actually don’t know anything. I still won’t be the kid on honor roll. I still wish I was what I am not.

  I’m ready to get out of school. I swear I’ll be brilliant one day. One day, someday.

• →

  Do you ever wish you were more? 

  
  

  I go through my day, interact with people, say things, play music, laugh, work, cry, just like anyone else. But after a while it all seems so small. I seem so small. Nothing grand. Nothing expansive. Just my day. My. 24. Little. Hours.

  So why don’t I do it? Why don’t I scream and sing and fling my arms and dance and LOVE because that’s so much more expressive than words? 

  Don’t be so small, Rio, grow like you were supposed to.